Not true. Effeminate straight men often need to label their heterosexuality, while effeminate gay men certainly don’t default to straight in our society.

Gayness is something to be “admitted” as if it were a crime.
And until the Supremes overturned the sodomy laws, it WAS a crime.

Since when does being gay legally equate to sodomy? That’s the kind of thinking that allows the Jerry Falwells of the world to minimize us to nothing more than a supposedly-abnormal sexual act. Sodomy is clearly not an exclusively gay activity, and though it’s definitely something I enjoy, you can be gay without engaging in sodomy; believe me – I’ve dated those guys before! ;)

But that’s the truth, Binky. Society DOES view gay people diffeently than straight.

Condescension aside, I don’t disagree with that. But society shouldn’t view gay people differently, of course. And as long as you advocate that gay public figures act differently than straight public figures when it comes to their sexuality, we will be treated differently. You’re encouraging society to view gay people differently by propogating the myth that gay people need to act differently.

What is it about “straight” that doesn’t make it a label?

I never said “straight” wasn’t a label. The clausal emphasis in the original sentence, Binky, is on you expecting gay people to proclaim their sexuality while straight people are not expected to. Whether or not straight people need to, or whether or not straight is assumed, is immaterial. It’s not the gay label that’s unfair – it’s your need for it to be explicitly named that is.

Despite my (probably unnecessary) verbosity, all I’m really saying is that I think being gay should be a non-issue in our society, no more demonized than being left-handed or short or paraplegic. It should just be. Is it like that? Of course not – not yet and probably not for a very long time. But treating non-heterosexuality like something that must be publicly defined, rather than just another human characteristic, encourages society to continue to make it an issue.

Well Nick’s post indicated otherwise, IMO.

Geez … speaking of ignorant assumptions. Nick’s post didn’t say or imply a damn thing about himself or his life, only his opinion about public figures’ lives.

And thank you, Tin Man. For the record, I’ve never been in the closet. I started kissing boys during puberty, as soon as I began having any sexual feelings at all.

As things stand now with Cooper the old saw “You can’t unring a bell” comes to mind. But the status quo will continue to insist that it’s his “right to maintain his privacy” (ie. lie) until the Dinsey Cows come home.

So, people are assuming that Cooper is straight, now that he has issued his not-denials?

Yes you do, Randy. The Heterosexual Dictatorship (Christopher Isherwood’s term — look it up) always operates on the assumption that everyone is straight. Gayness is something to be “admitted” as if it were a crime.

And until the Supremes overturned the sodomy laws, it WAS a crime.

No, you don’t.

(end of interjection)

But Stone Phillips doesn’t need to say he’s straight. No straight person does. And if you don’t say you’re gay, guess what? You default to straight.

“I think Ehren’s (et al.) implication that gay public figures should proclaim themselves with a label.”

First of all it’s Ehrenstein — no ” ’s(et al.)” about it. (And how in hell did THAT get started?)

What is it about “straight” that doesn’t make it a label? Please explain. 25 words or less. This WILL be on the Final.

“And preferring a scenario where someone comes out and says the words “I’m gay” to a scenario where someone lives his life privately, without saying anything about being gay, straight, or bi, is the kind of thinking that allows homophobes to get away with an “us vs. them” mentality: it emphasizes that society views gay people differently than straight people”

But that’s the truth, Binky. Society DOES view gay people diffeently than straight. That’s why you want to stay in the closet. Others however (like our host and his charming boyfriend) aren’t putting up with that sort of crap. They’re standing on their own two (four) feet and looking life right in the eye.

“rather than working toward minimizing the (already very few) differences between us.”

Actually there are a ton of differences — all of them brought about by the socio-political bottom line of homophobia and its evil twin internalized homophobia.

I think Ehren’s (et al.) implication that gay public figures should proclaim themselves with a label (for the gay public good) while it’s okay for straight people live under vague assumption is much more harmful – subversively – to gay equality in the long run.

And preferring a scenario where someone comes out and says the words “I’m gay” to a scenario where someone lives his life privately, without saying anything about being gay, straight, or bi, is the kind of thinking that allows homophobes to get away with an “us vs. them” mentality: it emphasizes that society views gay people differently than straight people, rather than working toward minimizing the (already very few) differences between us.