Second Dates

Tonight was the third in our nightly series: “First Dates With the Tin Man.”

Tonight’s date — my second DateBait match — was tall, intelligent, friendly, well-spoken, and polite, with very dreamy eyes. We sat and talked over dinner.

This dating thing is kinda fun.

I’m sleepy, and I have “Buffy” episodes to watch. So I’ll turn this over to you, my readers, with a question. Because a questioning Tin Man is a happy Tin Man. I also mean it to be sort of a discussion-provoker.

First of all, most of us have heard that old joke:

Q: What does a lesbian bring on a second date?

A: What second date?

Forget the gay-male stereotype for a moment. Because I really wanna know:

How do you know if you should go on a second date with someone?

Several of us blogger-types had brunch this afternoon. Brad Graham was in town, all the way from Missouri, and he put together a little cross-blog-world get-together — some gay types and some non-gay types.

Click the photo to make it larger. Left side, front to back: Mike (gay), David (not gay), Anil (not gay), the torso and arm of Richard (boyfriend d’Jonno, so yeah, gay). Right side, front to back: Dan (gay), Brad (gay), Choire (gay), and someone who I don’t think has a blog but reads them. Not pictured: Cameron (not gay); me (gay, and taking the photo).

This was the first time I’d met any straight bloggers. Strange, no? It was kind of refreshing. With all the talk of SXSW and FilePile and MetaFilter get-togethers, I almost felt like I was at some big A-List festival.

Anyway, we all sat around for three hours and I doused my glass of lemonade with a pound of sugar. Hilarious one-liners all over the place, mostly from Brad and Anil, with an occasional off-the-wall yet right-on-target comment from Choire. And of course there was the sexy, sharply-dressed Richard, whom I’d never met before. Having now met both of them, I finally understand why Richard and Jonno are so happy together. Sigh…

So, it was quite nice. I’m sure there’ll soon be other accounts appearing shortly. Thanks for bringing us all together, Brad.

In the evening, I had my second date of the weekend. I had a date with someone last night, I had a date with someone tonight, and I have a date with someone tomorrow night. I’m gonna be exhausted by the time this is all over.

The date tonight was with one of my DateBait matches. To refresh your memories, I got two matches at DateBait, but one of the guys disappeared immediately afterward and I never got to talk to him. So I got his number from the emcee and called him, and we made plans to meet up tonight. We met up for drinks at the Duplex, a gay bar on Christopher Street.

I got there and I was looking around, and someone was gesturing to me to come over. It’s a good thing he recognized me, because I totally didn’t recognize him. I don’t even remember seeing him before. But apparently he was DateBait Attendee #43, because that’s one of the numbers I wrote down.

We wound up talking for almost two hours over a couple of beers each. Not incredibly attracted to the guy, but we had a really nice conversation — got along quite well.

And yet I still don’t remember seeing him at DateBait.

I mean, I must have seen him there, but I guess I’d only seen him from far away. And “43” was on the list of numbers I wrote down for matches on my scratch paper that night. So I guess either I didn’t recognize the guy, or I’d really written down some number other than 43 when I was taking notes. Upon consulting my notes, though, it looks pretty clearly like 43. So I don’t know. I guess I’m having a great big mind fart.

The date last night was pretty nice, too. I met up with last night’s guy at the Phoenix in the East Village — also over drinks. He was pretty darn cute, though kind of East-Villagey (which makes sense, because he lives in the East Village) and alternative-y. I tend to go for more straight-laced, conservative-looking guys. Not that I wouldn’t hang out with him again, though.

And you know what? No sex at all, the entire weekend!

And that’s a GOOD thing. Not because these guys weren’t attractive — but because it made the dates more enjoyable and special, in a way. On both dates, the guy and I got into a position where his leg was resting against mine. I’ve always seen that as a tactic — a come-on, a prelude to an Evening of Fun. But it wasn’t a tactic, with either guy. It was just a nice, warm-ish gesture, one that felt nice and enticing and physically enjoyable and all that good stuff. One that leaves things open for future dates, too.

I’m feeling my way through this new world. This new, non-sex-type world.

It’s kinda fun so far.

Friday Night

I got to meet one of my readers last night. We’d been corresponding occasionally via e-mail over the last couple of months, and when my birthday rolled around, he told me he had a “Buffy”-related birthday present for me. As he lives in New York, I suggested we meet up, so last night we had a couple of drinks together.

And he gave me the coolest birthday present! It’s a CD of the tracks from the “Buffy” musical episode, complete with CD cover art! Awesome!

We had an enjoyable time and some good, enlightening conversation. It’s always interesting to hear a civilian’s take on the blogging world. My favorite story, though, was how he told a friend of his that he was going to be meeting me, and how they surfed on over to my site so he could show his friend what my site’s all about, and how the very first sentence on my page that day was, “Last night I had an orgasm at a urinal.” Greeeeeat. “You sure you want to meet this guy?” his friend must have said to him.

Anyway, I hope he found the evening worthwhile. I had a very nice time, and I think perhaps I’ve made a new friend.

In other news —

I’m kind of bummed about something. Er, someone. The guy I met last Sunday.

We chatted on Monday evening, and he invited me to lunch sometime this weekend. A few days went by, and then on Thursday night I called him to arrange plans. I got his voicemail, so I left a message. I didn’t hear back from him.

So I called him again last night, suggesting we get together Saturday (today), because Sunday (tomorrow) I’m having brunch with some very special people. And I still haven’t heard back from him. And here it is, Saturday, lunchtime.

I haven’t even seen him online in the last few days. He’s been completely incognito. I don’t get it.

Maybe he’s dead. Maybe he had a family emergency. Maybe, to paraphrase Billy Crystal in “When Harry Met Sally,” he desperately wants to talk to me but he’s trapped under something heavy. Maybe he knows about my website and he was freaked out to read what I thought about him. Maybe he’s a jerk. Maybe he has amnesia. Maybe he works for the CIA. I have no fucking clue.

So, like, whatever.

On the other hand, I do have an Internet date tonight. Yes, a real date thing. Not a sex thing. A date thing. Jewish, around my age, cute-looking. We shall see. I’m gonna continue to try out my new non-jumping-into-bed-with-people lifestyle. Of course, if I do jump into bed with him, I’m not necessarily gonna write about it here.

Strange as it may seem, I don’t reveal everything here that I do or think or feel. Just lots of it.

Mwahahahaha.
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