1 Mayor, 2 Guys, 1 Shih Tzu. It turns out that as New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani’s marriage has been falling apart, he’s been bunking at the home of a gay couple. For real. A hilarious and optimistic column by the always-terrific Frank Rich.
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Log Cabins

My date the other night got me thinking: how much do we shape our political views based on what we ourselves truly believe, and how much do we shape our views based on the culture or identities of the other people who hold those beliefs? “All politics is local,” but how much of politics is personal?

I’m Jewish and gay and from the Northeast. It’s certainly easier for me to adopt the political beliefs of the people with whom I normally associate. Support Israel, support gay rights, keep Christianity out of government. You go to the Newport Folk Festival and listen to James Taylor and the Indigo Girls, and you see all these free-spirited idealists, and these people seem so great, and you want to believe what they believe, because you like them so much.

And as for the other side? These days I associate the Republican Party with fundamentalist Christians, who seem kind of poisonous to me — given that they think I’m going to hell both for having sex with men and for not believing in Christ’s divinity, and maybe even for living in New York. That’s probably a bit paranoid on my part, but not totally.

These are usually unconscious decisions.

And then I meet a politically conservative gay guy.

I think to myself, how can he hold these beliefs? Isn’t that self-hatred?

But there are gay Republicans out there.

Political beliefs come in packages in this country. You can’t pick and choose in the United States; you have to choose Group of Beliefs A or Group of Beliefs B. You have to be for one major guy or the other major guy, or else you come off looking like a kook.

Based on that idea, we make so many assumptions about people. If all I knew about a guy was that he was pro-life, I might assume that he was a fanatic or a deeply religious person or anti-gay or against poor people and so forth. And I might be wrong.

As I wrote yesterday, when I exit the realm of identity politics, my beliefs aren’t well-formed. I support gay marriage and I think gays should be allowed to serve openly in the military. (I don’t support hate-crimes laws, though.) But what about everything else? Are low taxes better? Or is it better for the government to do everything it can for its citizenry? Does government have some sort of moral obligation to help? Or is it that in a perfect world, the government wouldn’t have to help, but since nothing else is working, the government should? Or should we have high taxes, but only to pay off as much of the national debt as we can, because the government’s debt is the people’s debt?

Is a missile shield maybe not such a crazy idea, and am I just disdaining it because Dubya supports it? After all, what’s so crazy about wanting to defend your nation in the best way possible, at least in theory? But what about in practice? And what about abortion? Do I have complete disdain for the pro-life point of view, or do I just have complete disdain for the people with whom I stereotypically associate that view? Is killing something with a heartbeat okay? But what’s wrong with doing so when technically it hasn’t been born yet? And what about “take your laws off my body”?

There aren’t quick and easy answers. My political beliefs are not well-formed, because so many issues are so complicated. I’m open to other people’s arguments most of the time. I guess that’s a good thing. But it doesn’t make me a very lively debater. Instead, it makes me a very lively deliberator.

Are you relationship-ready?

My result is pretty dead-on:

Willing and Able

You want to be in a relationship, but you’re somewhat wary of giving up your independence. No worries — when Mr. or Ms. Right comes along, you’ll know it, and you’ll be ready. In the meantime, have some fun and carpe diem while it lasts!
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