Memories of Summer Camp

Memories of Summer Camp

I mentioned that I saw a movie last night. It was Startup.com, a documentary about the rise and fall of an Internet company and the strains on the friendship of the two co-founders, Kaleil Isaza Tuzman and Tom Herman. I was kind of bored at first, because the whole dot-com thing is so passé, but the film turned out to be an absorbing business story and a good human drama.

Halfway through the movie, I realized in shock that Tom Herman’s parents used to run my old summer camp! They appeared in a scene, and I recognized them immediately. The memories started flowing… I loved that camp.

But I used to have major homesickness there — and I mean major homesickness. It was so intractable that one day one of the camp directors, Susan Herman (Tom Herman’s mother), had a talk with me. In her New England voice (which the movie brought back to me in startling recognition) she told me it was best for me to keep busy, and she suggested that I help wash dishes in the dining hall. I didn’t see how manual labor could make me feel better — in fact, I thought it would make me feel worse — so I declined. My homesickness went away eventually. Oh, did I mention I was twelve at the time? Twelve years old and still getting homesick.

Located in bucolic Hillsboro, New Hampshire, Interlocken — not to be confused with Interlochen, a music camp in Michigan — was not your run-of-the-mill sleepaway camp.

The camp schedule was unusual in that you had a choice of activities. Each week was divided into two three-day blocks with four activity sessions each day. At the beginning of every week there was a big meeting where all the counselors creatively presented explanations of the activities they were going to lead, and you’d fill out a sheet, checking off your first, second and third choices for each block of time. The next day in your mailbox you’d find your schedule, which contained some semblance of your preferences.

It was pretty cool. If you weren’t a sports person (which I definitely wasn’t), there were plenty of arty or cultural things to do. One of my favorites was working on the Interlocken News, which would be performed once a week at Morning Meeting. I got to be the anchorman twice. I remember when the tetherball mysteriously disappeared from the tetherball court, and I wrote up a little story about it that I was going to present during the news. The night before the news, the tetherball mysteriously reappeared. So the next morning, I did the stolen-tetherball story anyway, but at the end, I pretended that someone handed me a sheet of paper, and I said, “This just in… the tetherball has been returned. I repeat, the tetherball has been returned. So never mind.” Everyone laughed. Ohhh… the Interlocken News.

Another of my favorite activities was going on the medieval quest. There was this big guy on the staff named Howard (beer belly, mustache, mop of hair) who was a member of the Society for Creative Anachronism, which means that he was really into medieval history and heraldry and so forth. Every summer he’d organize this quest. If you were lucky enough to be part of it, it was a blast. We’d spend the first two days inventing identities for ourselves and learning how to wield “boffer swords,” these big swords made of foam and covered all around with duct tape. On the third day, he’d take us into the woods to complete a particular quest, usually finding some sort of treasure with the help of clues along the way. A few other counselors would play characters or monsters that we’d meet in the woods, and sometimes we’d have to fight them. Howard himself played a few different roles. You’d be walking along and suddenly you’d realize that he was gone, and a few minutes later he’d appear in a costume, pretending to be someone else. Creepy.

(Howard also could sing a three-minute version of Hamlet, which I loved it so much that he gave me the text. I memorized it, and I can still recite it to this day. Ask me about it sometime. Preferably when I’m drunk.)

Interlocken was big on multiculturalism before multiculturalism became a buzzword. The counselors came from all over the world. It was such a folky, granola, Ben-and-Jerry’s, 1960s-but-hold-the-marijuana-and-double-the-idealism utopia. We learned so many folk songs. It’s where I learned Blowin’ the Wind and Rocky Top. Isn’t most of rural New England like that? I love New England. But that’s for another post.

I learned so much at Interlocken. I learned how to perform “California Girls” in sign language. I met a blind woman who loved animals and played the banjo. I got to see the sun rise at 4 in the morning at Bacon Ledge. I ran in a 5K race and got to the finish line at the same time as Melissa Herman, Tom Herman’s sister. I had my first real crush on a boy. Oh, and counselor hunts. Remember counselor hunts? There was the legendary Joe Cornberry, who, if you found him, was worth 200 points. But he didn’t really exist.

Now I’m an adult, and I spend my summer days in an office building. I type at a computer. I go to lunch. I come back to my office. I answer the phone. I look out the window. I hop onto the PATH train at the end of the workday. Just like I do on every other day of the year.

Right about now, I really wish I was back in summer camp. I miss it.

A Big Piece of Trayf

A Big Piece of Trayf

I don’t know if I have sex with the alarming frequency that it might seem, especially lately. But when I got home from a movie last night, there was a phone message from Tall Red-Haired Guy asking if I wanted to “hang out.” I was tired, so I called him up to politely decline, but he convinced me to come over. Here, twist my arm.

I’m flattered that he apparently finds me sexually attractive. Physically, we’re so different — he’s 6’1″, with red hair and fair, smooth skin, and, as I’ve mentioned before, his pecs are amazing. Chiseled out of stone. I’d think he’d be able to find someone just as tall as he is, with just as great a body as he has. But hey, he likes me, and it’s flattering. (He has also highly complimented me on my skill at a particular act, and he’s not the first to do so. That’s flattering, too. Hee hee.)

If you’ve read Michael Chabon’s The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay (and if you haven’t, you should — it’ll soon be out in paperback), remember the relationship between the scrawny Sammy Clayman and the big, brawny, all-American Tracy Bacon? That’s what it reminds me of. Sammy took Tracy home to Brooklyn to meet his Jewish mother, and Tracy was “the biggest piece of trayf she’d ever seen,” or something like that. (Trayf is a Yiddish word for non-kosher food.)

He even invited me to stay the night, but for some reason I didn’t want to. He’s only a ten-minute walk from me, but I felt like sleeping alone in my own bed.

Dot Org

Dot Org

Well, I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

I wasn’t worried about this until I met with a particular reader of my blog this weekend, and now I feel like if I don’t have everything sorted out by next week and don’t find a job that pays me at least $70,000 a year, I’ll be working beneath my potential and I’ll be screwed and I’ll be dependent entirely on Social Security when I get old, except that Social Security will be bankrupt by that point so I’ll wind up on the street living out of a refrigerator box with alcohol on my breath and muttering to people as they gingerly step around me and pretend not to see me as they chatter into whatever holographic telepathic telekinetic devices will have replaced cellphones by 2060.

Apparently my assignment is to go online and look for “foundations” that relate to computers and the Internet, which apparently is distinct from “non-profits.” Apparently through the use of the World Wide Web I’m supposed to be able to find 500 foundations to which I can send my resumé. I think I’ve found five. Anyway, I don’t even know if I want to work for a foundation, and I can’t really think straight because my new glasses are bothering me right now. I think they need to be tightened. Or they might be a tad too big for the bridge of my nose. They’re not as comfortable as my old glasses.

Anyway, if this stupid position I’ve been waiting and waiting to hear about doesn’t come through, I don’t know what I’m going to do once my current job ends on August 17. Maybe I’ll have to give up my apartment and move back in with my parents. And even if I do get this job, I now feel like it will be the wrong move, because it will only be paying me in the mid-40s and apparently I deserve to be making in the 70s. At least. Deserve? I don’t know whether I believe that.

I don’t deserve a salary in the mid-70s, because I don’t work hard enough. And I’m sure potential employers can see right through me anyway. I know that people look at my resumé and see how unimpressive it is, see right through my degree from a great law school and focus instead on the fact that I have skimpy job experience. And I’m never enthusiastic about any particular job prospect, because I’m scared and I can find things wrong with any potential job, and this lack of enthusiasm comes through, too.

I know that this isn’t totally true. In some ways I probably do deserve to be making a salary at least in the 70s. In fact, it’s probably not a question of “deserving.” It’s probably a question of what I’m capable of doing, and I’m in fact a smart guy.

Yeah, my self-esteem could kinda be higher.

Cripes, I’ll get through this, I guess.