After Pennsylvania

So, other than the Obama/Abercrombie/Fitch dorkwads…

I wanted to write some sort of insightful post about the Pennsylvania primary results. Unfortunately, I can’t think of anything insightful. It just goes on and on. Hillary Clinton’s candidacy just won’t die. She’s like the Anti-Monitor in issue #12 of Crisis on Infinite Earths.

Seriously, though…

Not that it matters, since I already voted (2½ months ago!), but I think I’ve returned to being neutral in the Democratic race. Or at least I feel less personally invested in an Obama victory. If for some reason he doesn’t get the nomination, I won’t feel personally offended like I would have after the Texas and Ohio primaries.

He still has my heart, but Hillary’s been starting to win my head. (Al Gore in 2000 had both; John Kerry in 2004 had neither.)

Hillary’s a dark lord, but she’s our dark lord. She has an intuitive understanding of how the Republicans play the game. At the same time, that’s what I don’t like about her. She’s adopted the Republican narrative. She’d endorsed the Republican way of playing.

Obama either doesn’t understand the narrative, or he doesn’t feel he needs to play it. “Why can’t I just eat my waffle?” Indeed. I’m increasingly frustrated by his unwillingness to play the game. Look, you’ve got the youth vote locked up already. Can you finally start turning your attention to the working class and elderly? Not everyone will go to your website and look at your specifics. Will you please deign to talk about them and play the game? There are some idiots out there who need to be led by the hand. They’re not going to seek out your positions. You have to talk about them.

Hillary Clinton’s transformation is unbelievable. She’s morphed from a “liberal elitist” enemy of the right into a gun-toting, shot-drinking, working-class hero. She’s practically the waitress who served Obama his uneaten waffle and topped off his coffee.

Oh, and she’s ready to nuke Iran.

What the frak happened to her?

I’m not as sure as Eric that McCain’s a goner. By all rights, George W. Bush should never have been reelected. Never underestimate the stupidity of the American people. On the other hand, McCain should be benefitting greatly from the internecine Democratic warfare right now, and yet he still can’t break his 45 percent ceiling, so who knows what will happen.

See? Like I said. I have nothing useful to say.

Obama, Abercrombie, and Fitch

What’s up with the three gay A&F-wearing dorks standing right behind Obama while he gives his speech? And don’t answer your frickin’ cellphone while he talks. It’s distracting! Stop talking to each other and fooling around! Pay attention to the candidate! You’re pulling focus!

[Update: I’m not the only one to notice. More here, here, and here. Two of those three bloggers have no gaydar.]

[Update 2: Yes, it’s a little thing. But campaign events, especially major prime-time events, should be well stage-managed, and I’m surprised those three tools made it onto the stage right behind the candidate.]

[Update 3: Keith Olbermann on MSNBC: “If you have the sudden urge to run out and buy a fleece…”]

[Update 4: Here, here, and… oh, hell, just go here.]

That Was Fast

Tomorrow’s the Pennsylvania primary? Already? It arrived faster than I thought.

I’m serious. Seven weeks ago, when we had the Texas and Ohio primaries, I agonized that we were going to have to go through another seven weeks of this. Now those seven weeks have passed, but it doesn’t feel like that long. I don’t know why. Maybe time moves more quickly when primaries or caucuses aren’t happening every week.

The whole nominating contest is a blur at this point. I’m numb. I almost don’t care who the nominee is anymore. Obama is bruised and battered, and Clinton has morphed into Richard Nixon with a universal health care program. In other words, Lyndon Johnson. Well, Lyndon Johnson minus Vietnam. Actually, Lyndon Johnson minus Vietnam doesn’t sound so bad.

Hillary Clinton = (Nixon + universal health care) – Vietnam

Hillary Clinton = Nixon + (universal health care – Vietnam)

Hillary Clinton – Nixon = universal health care – Vietnam

As of tomorrow, time elapsed since the Iowa caucuses: 110 days.

No, seriously.