Category Archives: General

Last Letter Home

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Last night we had our first chorus rehearsal of the spring season. It looks to be a terrific concert, including works by Schoenberg, Brahms, Mozart, and others.

One piece we’re singing, “Last Letter Home,” blew us away. It was composed last year by Lee Hoiby; the text comes from a letter written by a U.S. soldier who died in Iraq. Private First Class Jesse Givens was killed on May 1, 2003, when his tank plunged into the Euphrates River after the bank on which he was parked gave way. The other crew members escaped, but Givens drowned.

He’d written a letter to his family to be opened in the event of his death: his wife Melissa, his stepson Dakota (nicknamed “Toad”), and his unborn son, nicknamed “Bean.”

We sang it for the first time last night. Half of us were wiping our eyes afterwards. My voice kept breaking as I tried to sing the text.

…I searched all my life for a dream and I found it in you. I would like to think that I made a positive difference in your lives. I will never be able to make up for the bad. I am so sorry. The happiest moments in my life all deal with my little family. I will always have with me the small moments we all shared. The moments when you quit taking life so serious and smiled. The sound of a beautiful boys laughter or the simple nudge of a baby unborn. You will never know how complete you have made me… You opened my eyes to a world I never knew existed…

Dakota you are more son then I could ever ask for. … You have a big beautiful heart. … I will always be there in our park when you dream so we can still play. I hope someday you will have a son like mine. … I love you toad I will always be there with you. I’ll be in the sun, shadows, dreams, and joys of your life.

Bean, I never got to see you but I know in my heart you are beautiful. …

I have never been so blessed as I was on the day I met Melissa Dawn Benfield. You are my angel, soulmate, wife, lover, and best friend. I am sorry. I did not want to have to write this letter. There is so much more I need to say, so much more I need to share. A lifetime’s worth. I married you for a million lifetimes. That’s how long I will be with you. … Please find it in your heart to forgive me for leaving you alone. … Do me a favor, after you tuck Toad and Bean in, give them hugs and kisses from me. Go outside and look at the stars and count them. Don’t forget to smile.

Here’s the entire letter. Links to the original, handwritten letter are at the bottom of the page.

His son was born a few weeks after he died.

NJ CU Taxes

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I’m not a New Jersey resident, but since I work in the state I have to fill out a non-resident tax form when I do my taxes. I’ve noticed that this year, the non-resident and resident forms refer to “spouse/CU partner” for the first time. (Civil unions went into effect in New Jersey last February.)

It’s nice to see these relationships “officialized” on tax forms.

Last Night’s Debate

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Well, that sure was an uncomfortable debate to watch last night. You think maybe Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama don’t like each other these days?

I think last night’s debate was more of a meta-debate. It was less about the candidates’ positions on the issues and more about how the candidates handle conflict and challenge. And Obama disappointed me there.

This piece explains it: Big Speech Obama is not the same as Debate Obama. Clinton played loose and unfairly with the facts at times, — for instance, harping on Obama’s “present” votes in the Illinois legislature. Obama tried to explain those votes, but I don’t totally understand his explanation, even with the help of this. Then she attacked him for what he’d said about Reagan, totally distorting his words. It was dirty.

But unfortunately, the meta-debate is what mattered last night. And Obama is just not good at arguing with Clinton. He’s not good at arguing with anyone — not good at the rough-and-tumble, while Clinton excels at it. She is tough. I think she’s going to get the nomination and she’ll be a much better candidate than Gore or Kerry was. I was thinking last night that I can’t wait to see her in a debate with the Republican nominee next fall.

Obama has had the misfortune in these primaries to go up against her, because she seems to be the best debater out of all the candidates in either party this year. But honestly, if you’re not good at the rough-and-tumble, you won’t make a very good president. Obama defenders, feel free to disagree with me, but that’s where I see things.

I think Clinton’s going to get the nomination. And it’ll be nice to have the person who plays tough and dirty be on our side for once. We don’t need another milquetoast Democrat running against the Republicans.