I’ve dug up the old volumes of my diary. I’ve got tons of them.

I began keeping a diary a few days after my thirteenth birthday. I’d recently read The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 3/4, and it inspired me to start one of my own. I told my parents that I wanted a diary for my birthday, and they got me one from a custom crafts store – the cover painted glossy white and stippled with small painted blue stars and a yellow moon, with the words “Jeff’s Midnight Confessions” written on it.

Here’s the first entry I ever wrote. I must point out that (1) one of my recent Hanukkah presents had been a word-a-day calendar and (2) I was a huge fan of “Days of our Lives.”

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Friday, Jan. 2, 1987

Hello, Diary. This is my first entry. It’s about 4:30 pm and it’s during vacation. I’m in the middle of writing my stupid essay for Mrs. Podesta. I wish I didn’t have any homework over vacation!

Last night for Chanukah (7th night) I didn’t open anything, but on New Year’s Eve I got the Talisman Adventure Set. Now I have the complete Talisman collection!

On DOOL today, they found out that Emma’s death was homicidal. Also, Kayla discovered that Steve used to spy on her for Victor and they broke up. Sometimes I hate Victor! Also, Roman helped a skier with a broken leg. An ambulance took her to a hospital. It doesn’t seem important, but knowing DAYS, I know it’ll lead to something.

I have to get back to my dumb essay. And, just for the record, I like Lara C_________. Hopefully, nobody will look inside of here. Maybe I’ll write later. Bye! Oh, by the way, we didn’t maffick very loudly on New Year’s Eve.

Now it’s 5:00 pm. I’m sleeping at Larry’s house tonight, and we’re going to the museum tomorrow, so I can’t write in you tonight. Bye for today!

P.S. I didn’t set my tocsin this morning since there was no school today.

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Oh, to be thirteen again. Except not really.

The other day I blogged about Best American Essays 2007, which is edited by David Foster Wallace. (Wallace chose them from a larger list that was provided to him.) I’ve done a little web research, and I’ve compiled a list of the pieces in the book that you can already read for free online. Enjoy.

Mark Danner, Iraq: The War of the Imagination

Malcolm Gladwell, What the Dog Saw

Louis Menand, Name That Tone

Cynthia Ozick, Out from Xanadu (under a different name)

Richard Rodriguez, Disappointment

Elaine Scarry, Rules of Engagement

Roger Scruton. A Carnivore’s Credo (I think this is the same piece)

Peter Singer, What Should a Billionaire Give — and What Should You?

Edward O. Wilson, Apocalypse Now

I recently got notalgic for an old videogame and decided to play it for the first time in years: Day of the Tentacle. It’s one of the most brilliant adventure games ever.

And then I found this speed-run of the game on YouTube.

If you’ve never played the game before or it’s been a long time, you might be confused. And, at the very least, spoiled.