Dahlia v. Dellinger

I adore Dahlia Lithwick, Slate.com’s Supreme Court writer, and therefore, I’m enjoying her annual back-and-forth with Walter Dellinger over the Supreme Court’s big end-of-term decisions this week.

Roberts goes to great lengths to insert meaning into the silliness of the words on the student banner. He insists the phrase “Bong Hits 4 Jesus” can be read as “celebrating drug use”; indeed to get there he needed only insert the imaginary words, “bong hits [are a good thing].” When did we enter into the era of constitutional interpretation through inserting pretend words? The sign could have as easily been read to say “bong hits [will kill you].”

[A]fter today, a majority of the court believes students can hold up banners that say “legalize drugs,” but not banners with strings of random drug words unconnected by a verb. Attention students: You can still be political at school. But the Constitution stops protecting you the moment you cross the line into merely weird.

Bong hits 4 Jesus? Bong hits for me!!

Salon Advice

Interesting advice column on Salon.com today. A gay reader asks, regarding his hot, sexually ambiguous coworker:

Um, do straight guys ever say to another guy, “You have pretty eyes”? I mean, I can see a straight guy thinking that, perhaps, but saying it?… I don’t want Mike talking to me like that unless he’s sexually interested in me…

One of the commenters probably gets it right:

I’d say write off whatever signal he’s trying to give you because he sounds like he’s playing games. Phenomenally handsome man who just happens to choose to work at an AIDS care facility? Where men undoubtably will drool over him? And he does not respond? Sounds questionable. Out of nowhere compliments you in a way that cannot be written off as “I just like to give a compliment when I notice something”? But then insists he’s just “comfortable” saying that? Sounds questionable. Let’s face it, nothing about the guy sounds generous or kind. That’s the sort of person you’re dealing with.

Even if he’s a gay man. Even if he wants in your pants, and he means NOW. Don’t do it. This sounds like a major narcissistic personality. That will not lead to anything fulfilling, even in the arena of one-night-stands.

Of course, as another reader points out, Dan Savage probably would have handled this much more succinctly: “the jerk’s a cocktease.”

On the other hand, the guy could just be starting to explore his sexuality. Who knows.