Matt’s probably ready to throttle me, because I’ve been singing songs from the movie Camp for the last four days. On Sunday afternoon, on the way back from our chorus retreat, a few of us zoomed down the West Side Highway in a car with the windows rolled down, enjoying the unusually balmy air, ogling rollerbladers, the Camp soundtrack blaring from our speakers. We couldn’t have been gayer. As soon as I got home I had to put on Matt’s DVD of the movie and watch a couple of scenes.

And even though I don’t have the soundtrack, I can listen to some of the music right on the web. I found this, which has three complete songs and a bunch of 30-second clips. I can’t get enough of “The Want of a Nail”… but I really wish I could listen to all of “Turkey Lurkey Time.”

Because I think that’s the one that’s going to drive Matt over the edge.

I’m stealing this from Matt in Chicago. It’s fun.

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears’s 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.