Michael Tomasky says that Kerry should focus on the Bush administration’s failure to capture Osama bin Laden. And in doing so, he addresses one counter-argument I’d had in my head:

I can already hear the nervous Democratic operatives: Ooh, that’s too risky. What if we capture bin Laden between now and November 2? The argument is cut out from underneath Kerry. Well, that’s inarguable. But guess what? If we capture bin Laden between now and election day, Bush wins anyway, no matter how you slice it and no matter what Kerry did or did not say…. From the Kerry campaign’s point of view, the possible bad political outcome (Bush captures bin Laden, wins election) would have happened anyway, while the possible good political outcome (nation finally focuses on why this man is still at large, Bush put on defensive) will come only if Kerry starts asking the question.

Yeah, good point.

I had my first feature-writing class last night, and afterwards, I was ready to quit. Matt had never seen me so depressed.

For one thing, I’m the only male in the class. The other 13 students and the teacher are all female.

Some gay men thrive around women; others feel alien around them. I’m the latter. Around most men, particularly most gay men, I can take comfort in a range of strong but familiar emotions: lust, envy, competition, empathy, identification, distaste, admiration, curiosity. Around most women, I don’t know how to act or what to feel. Women are not as psychologically resonant for me, or at least the resonance is too buried.

And I’m not comfortable enough in my manhood to be “one of the girls”; I don’t like playing the token gay guy. One of the exercises last night was to take 10 minutes and privately brainstorm on a sheet of paper about what topics we might want to use for feature articles. Everything I wrote down revolved around homosexuality. Gay marriage; closeted gay spouses (since the McGreevey thing has been in the news); gay dating; gay legal issues. The teacher, Beth, asked for volunteers to read theirs, and I didn’t volunteer, because I knew that if I did, I’d immediately be the token gay guy. (When I mentioned this to Matt, he asked me if any of the women were lesbians. I don’t know. If there were, they weren’t obvious.)

So there’s that.

Besides that, feature writing just doesn’t seem fun. I’m probably totally overreacting or focusing on the negative and unfamiliar, but anyway: Beth referred to a few types of feature articles, and among these are things called “charticles,” which appear to be articles in the form of charts, or snippets of text accompanied by graphics. There’s also service journalism, which doesn’t move me.

Near the beginning of class, Beth passed out a bunch of magazines to illustrate different types of articles. Except for two or three, they were all women’s magazines. (Fortunately, I got the New Yorker.) I don’t want to write dumb little personality-less pieces. I want to be like Michelangelo Signorile or Dan Savage or Andrew Sullivan or someone like that. I want to write gay stuff.

Perhaps blogging has spoiled me, but I really want to write about things that I’m interested in and that show my personality.

And I’m being so stupid here, because of course I can write stuff like that. It’s just a matter of appropriating the things from the class that I need, of putting my own stamp on my experience of it.

I was depressed last night because I’ve wrapped up my three-year commitment to my job, so I’m free to leave without penalty, but what am I going to do now? Work at this job until I retire? Go through life without making anything of myself? And if I do want to make something of myself, go for some sort of goal, is it going to be unpleasant? I want life to be fun and as stress-free as possible.

I saw an opening for myself, some hope, a possible way out of the boredom, only to realize it was a mirage. That’s not a good feeling. Brick wall. Is this all that there is in life?

I don’t feel quite as negative as I’m making this all out to be. I’m just trying to describe all of it so I can work through it, which I’ve already begun to do.

So I’m not quitting the class, and I’ll see what I can do with it.

Newsweek has a piece about college hookups.

Since the late 1990s the media has been filled with accounts of adolescent hookups. The phrase describes one-time sexual encounters — anything from kissing to intercourse — between acquaintances who’ve no plans to even talk afterward, let alone repeat the experience. As alarming as this sounds to parents, journalistic accounts of this behavior seem sketchy and anecdotal, filled with boasts by kids who won’t give their last names.

Aww. Old media is so cute.