Tag Archives: marriage equality

On Prop 8

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I haven’t written about Prop 8 yet.

Nothing can dim my utter euphoria at the election of Barack Obama as the 44th President of the United States, which will have much greater consequences for our country and the world than the passage of Prop 8. But Prop 8’s passage is very disappointing nonetheless.

Still, all is not lost. California’s gay couples will still have the option of domestic partnerships that approximate marriage in all but name. This is not ideal, but ain’t beanbag. Same-sex couples can get married in Massachusetts and Connecticut, and probably next year in New Jersey. New York recognizes same-sex marriage, as long as the marriage is performed elsewhere.

Also, it’s ridiculously easy to change the California constitution. As attitudes on marriage equality continue to progress, same-sex marriage in California is more likely to become permanently legal. We’ll just have to continue to fight, that’s all.

Gay rights groups have filed lawsuits against Prop 8. I don’t think this is a good idea. Not only is it awful public relations, but it will probably lose.

The reason civil unions and domestic partnerships are not good enough, and will never be good enough, is because of the intangible advantage marriage brings: social respect. There are tangible advantages to marriage as well, such as: while everyone knows what marriage is, civil unions and domestic partnerships are harder to explain to the hospital administrator when you need to visit your partner there. But in a large part, this is about the respect that equality brings.

The defeat of Prop 8 shows that we don’t have enough respect yet. (And the irony that black Californians voted 70-30 in favor of Prop 8 is painful.) Which comes first: respect, or the right to marriage? Or does one reinforce the other?

Time is on our side. It will take longer to achieve success than we thought.

But time is on our side.

Finally, Dale Carpenter has written the best thing I’ve seen so far about all this.

Write to Marry Day

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Write to Marry Day

Today is Write to Marry Day.

I’ve already written about Prop 8 in California, and how important it is for Californians to vote “No” in order to protect the right of same-sex couples to get married.

Two big fears of the anti-marriage crowd right now appear to be that (1) same-sex marriage violates freedom of religion, and (2) teachers will be required to teach little kids about gay people.

Regarding the point about freedom of religion: Andy convincingly shows why this argument is wrong.

I would add that religious groups in this country have always had to deal with secular laws that might discriminate against them. This is not a new thing. “[R]eligious entities have no right under the First Amendment’s Religion Clauses to avoid neutral, generally-applicable anti-discrimination laws,” according to this commentary. These things have a way of being worked out in courts and legislatures. Yes, a religious organization might be sued, but the threat of a lawsuit in and of itself does not mean that your rights are being denied.

Regarding the second point, about children: I will never understand the fears about children being exposed to the concept of homosexuality. When little kids learn about Prince Charming and Cinderella, do they hop into bed and start fucking each other? No. Do Disney movies or fairy tales about couples living “happily ever after” teach them about penises and vaginas? No.

Anyway, kids tend to be curious about penises and vaginas on their own, since every kid has one or the other. Kids want to know about their equipment. It’s the parents who are afraid to talk about it.

Certain ignorant people think that homosexuality is contagious. That’s ridiculous. I didn’t “learn to be gay” from gay people. I didn’t even know any gay people growing up. Almost every gay person grows up with straight parents and is surrounded by straight couples, and yet still turns out to be gay.

Why don’t they look at the Massachusetts education system and see what’s happening there, instead of just tossing around fear and hysteria?

Aw, enough. I’m preaching to the choir. Just get out and vote “No” on Prop 8 on Tuesday if you’re a Californian, and donate money if you haven’t already, whether you’re a Californian or not.

Worried About Prop 8

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I’m really worried that California Prop 8 will pass on November 4, writing marriage discrimination into the California constitution. Election Night could be bittersweet in California, as Obama wins but marriage equality loses. The polls right now don’t look good.

If Prop 8 passes, then same-sex marriage rights in California are gone for good — unless the U.S. Supreme Court someday rules on the issue, or future California voters someday amend the state constitution in the other direction.

I don’t live in California, of course, but I know at least one couple who does, and there are more than 100,000 others.

I don’t know what to do, other than donate money. I was reluctant to donate, because I thought, what can my own little contribution do?

But I’ve decided I have to donate to this. I’ve never donated to a political cause before. I didn’t even donate to Obama, although I thought about it last spring.

But this cannot pass.

My contribution alone won’t affect things, but combined with the contributions of others, it might.

Please donate to help defeat Prop 8. I just did.