Well, I did it!

Last night I ordered a brand new Dell. None of this build-my-own-computer crap. None of this refurbished crap.

It’s going to have a 2.53-GHz processor, 512 MB RAM, 60 GB hard drive, DVD-ROM drive, CD/DVD burner drive, and a floppy drive, and the mouse is an optical mouse. I was going to get a CD burner drive, but I figured if I’m going to have this thing for a few years, why not go all the way and get a CD/DVD burner? Maybe I’ll want to burn DVDs at some point.

And I just ordered a computer desk with hutch from Staples, which will arrive tomorrow. I guess I’ll be putting it together this weekend.

I’ve also ordered DSL.

Wheeeeeeee!

I had therapy on Tuesday night, and we discussed why it’s so hard for me to spend money on myself.

Too often, when I look at the world around me, I see only its skeleton. I get so focused on survival that I forget that I’m allowed to experience some of life’s sweetness as well.

This is particularly difficult when it comes to money. In the past, I’ve felt that if I spend too much money, I’m being irresponsible. The problem is, although I grew up learning that one shouldn’t spend money unwisely, I forgot the “unwisely” part. It’s probably not a good idea to spend money just to spend it; but the fact is, it’s okay to spend money on things you want. After all, that’s what money is for — not just shelter and food, but extras.

I’m going to try to remember this. I’m going to try to see not just the skeleton of the world, but all the sweet extra goodies it has as well.

Wheeeeeeee!