Here are some hilariously awful classical music album covers.

As a political junkie, I’m excited about tonight’s Iowa caucuses. But it’s a totally ridiculous system. As Gail Collins writes, “the sturdy Iowa voters will pull on their parkas and go out to fulfill their historic destiny. Perhaps as many as 15 percent of them!” Even David Broder, who is increasingly senescent, is on target here.

Not only will an incredibly small percentage of voters be choosing delegates in a process that doesn’t even allow a secret ballot; they’re not even choosing that many delegates. For instance, on the Democratic side, of the more than 4,000 delegates who will attend the Democratic Convention in August, how many delegates are Iowa Democrats choosing?

Fifty-six [whoops] Forty-five.

Yeah, 56 45 out of more than 4,000. That’s less than 2 percent of all delegates.

And yet the media will be hysterical and breathless tonight and tomorrow, and candidates will drop out either after Iowa or after New Hampshire next week.

It’s ridiculous.

I suggest a compromise. Let Iowa and New Hampshire be the first states to elect delegates (if they must), but make the results secret. No state should reveal the results of its primary or caucus until all 50 states have voted. That way, Iowa and New Hampshire can still go first, but they won’t have undue influence over any other state.

It’ll never happen, of course. Congress can’t make rules for state-by-state elections, let alone intra-party elections. And media companies will never forego their exit polls. And in our hypersaturated media age, the results would inevitably leak out somehow.

Our system sucks.

I have this weird interest in the front page of the New York Times. One afternoon a few weeks ago I got quasi-Aspergic about it. It turns out you can look at any New York Times front page since February 13, 2002 by using a URL formatted like this one. Just enter the appropriate year, month and day.

Anyway, I realized that in all of 2007, the Times ran only two banner headlines. Neither of them took up more than one line and neither was in all caps, which usually identifies something REALLY IMPORTANT.

The first was on March 7, 2007, after Scooter Libby was convicted:

The second was on April 17, 2007, reporting the Virginia Tech shootings:

In fact, the last time the Times ran a multi-line, all-caps banner headline was more than a year ago (December 30, 2006), after Saddam Hussein was hanged:

I wonder if the Times is trying to de-emphasize banner headlines.

For those of you who are inclined to like Huckabee: keep in mind he’s got a completely insane tax proposal. How does a 30% sales tax — or more — sound? That’s incredibly regressive. (Taxes are progressive if people who make more money pay more taxes; they’re regressive if everyone pays the same tax rate, which means that the poorer you are, the higher proportion of your income that goes to taxes. Way unfair.)

He seems like a friendly guy, and he’s against Bush’s foreign policy, but this is an incredibly stupid tax plan.

Okay, I think I’ve got a new crush: Will Coghlan of Political Lunch.

You have GOT to be fucking kidding me.

As one commenter on Salon said, “He has killed satire by pre-emption.”

Here’s a live-blog of last night’s disappointing episode of “The Daily Show” (“an uncomfortable monologue and a near-endless interview about the strike”) and here’s one for last night’s “Colbert Report.”

Rovzar: ANDREW SULLIVAN IS THE GUEST. YES.
Kois: OH, NICE. ANDREW SULLIVAN: SCAB!
Rovzar: He sounds a little weird out loud. I say that with all due respect as a gay and an Andrew Sullivan reader.
Kois: Wait, what is his accent? Where is he from?
Rovzar: He’s British.
Kois: He is?
Rovzar: Yeah, originally. He’s not a citizen, I don’t think. So him talking about “us” and who “we” need is a little weird.
Kois: He sounds as though he’s stuck somewhere in, like, eighteenth-century Massachusetts.
Rovzar: I can just imagine him churning butter in a peasant frock.

ITDS. (It’s the delegates, stupid.)

Congratulations to my home state, New Jersey, which yesterday became the second state in the country to join the National Popular Vote Compact, after Maryland.

The National Popular Vote Interstate Compact is essentially an end run around the electoral college. It stipulates that participating states will assign their electoral votes in a presidential election to the candidate who wins the popular vote nationally. The catch is, it won’t go into effect until states possessing a majority of electoral votes (270) pass the law. This matters because if at least 270 electoral votes are committed to the popular vote winner nationally, the candidate has won the electoral college and therefore the election. It makes the electoral vote, and therefore the election, dependent on the national popular vote.

It’s ingenious. To amend the Constitution directly, 3/4 of the states’ legislatures would have to agree, which will never happen because there are enough small states that prefer the disproportionate advantage that the electoral college gives them.

But the National Popular Vote idea is perfectly constitutional, because under the Constitution, states can allocate their electoral votes however they wish. (They don’t even have to assign it according to the state’s popular vote if they don’t want to.)

With Maryland and New Jersey, there are now 25 electoral votes on board. Only 245 to go. There’s practically no chance this will go into effect by the 2008 election, and after the 2010 census, perhaps Maryland or New Jersey will lose electoral votes. Maybe enough states will sign on by 2012.

Amen. Tim Russert is too interested in playing “gotcha” and making headlines.

Seven years ago today…

Happy Blogaversary to me.

Hey – you guys? Those of you who think Mitt Romney wouldn’t be such a bad Republican nominee? Those of you who think he’d be the least-bad Republican that could take office next year?

Last month, Charlie Savage, Pulitzer-prize-winning Boston Globe journalist and author of Takeover: The Return of the Imperial Presidency and the Subversion of American Democracy, wrote up the results of a questionnaire he sent each of the major presidential candidates regarding their views of executive branch power. Along with a summary, he presented each candidate’s responses to the questionnaire.

Romney gave some of the scariest answers, basically supporting everything that Dick Cheney and David Addington have done over the past seven years to create a monarchical executive branch that can do whatever it wants.

Excerpts:

1. Does the president have inherent powers under the Constitution to conduct surveillance for national security purposes without judicial warrants, regardless of federal statutes?

Intelligence and surveillance have proven to be some of the most effective national security tools we have to protect our nation. Our most basic civil liberty is the right to be kept alive and the President should not hesitate to use every legal tool at his disposal to keep America safe.

Surveillance without warrants is a-o.k., and damn any Congressional statutes — they’re only the law, after all.

4. Under what circumstances, if any, would you sign a bill into law but also issue a signing statement reserving a constitutional right to bypass the law?

I share the view of many past presidents that signing statements are an important presidential practice.

President Bush has issued a record number of signing statements that he claims allow him to bypass any laws he believes are unconstitutional. The proper response to such bills is to veto them. More on signing statements. (This was the basis for Savage’s Pulitzer.)

7. If Congress defines a specific interrogation technique as prohibited under all circumstances, does the president’s authority as commander in chief ever permit him to instruct his subordinates to employ that technique despite the statute?

A President should decline to reveal the method and duration of interrogation techniques to be used against high value terrorists who are likely to have counter-interrogation training. This discretion should extend to declining to provide an opinion as to whether Congress may validly limit his power as to the use of a particular technique, especially given Congress’s current plans to try to do exactly that.

Translation: Presidents can authorize torture no matter what Congress says.

8. Under what circumstances, if any, is the president, when operating overseas as commander-in-chief, free to disregard international human rights treaties that the US Senate has ratified?

The President must carry out all of his duties in a manner consistent with the rule of law, whether it is our Constitution or valid international agreements, so long as they do not impinge upon the President’s constitutional authority.

“[S]o long as they do not impinge upon the President’s constitutional authority.” These are code words for the unitary executive theory, which misinterprets the Constitution to grant the president near-monarchical powers in certain areas of law. For instance, each of Bush’s signing statements says that he will execute the law “in a manner consistent with his constitutional authority to supervise the unitary executive branch.” How broadly does Romney interpret “the President’s constitutional authority”? See question 10:

10. Is there any executive power the Bush administration has claimed or exercised that you think is unconstitutional? Anything you think is simply a bad idea?

The Bush Administration has kept the American people safe since 9/11. The Administration’s strong view on executive power may well have contributed to that fact.

That speaks for itself. Everything Bush has done is fine!

Romney may not be as socially conservative as he currently claims to be. But when it comes to executive power, Romney would be as much of a nightmare as Giuliani.

A few months ago a film director pseudonymously named “T.S. Slaughter” asked to send me a copy of his recent film, “Skull & Bones,” in return for a review. It’s a gay-themed horror film that takes place on a college campus. Very, very, very low-budget production values, from all appearances, except the vermin are apparently real.

It really wasn’t my cup of tea at all, but “Mr. Slaughter” did send me a copy of the film, so I owe him at least a mention. Here’s the trailer.

Here’s a site with sound files for network news music. It even has NBC’s election coverage music, which seems to be the same music that MSNBC has been using in this election cycle.

(Election coverage music sometimes sends tingles down my spine. Yeah, I’m a political junkie.)

Ann Lewis, one of Hillary Clinton’s senior advisers, is speaking on MSNBC right now, and when she speaks she totally reminds me of Mrs. Landingham.

Y’know, Hillary Clinton says y’know a lot. She uses it whenever she speaks extemporaneously in an interview or a debate. Once you first notice it, it’s impossible to ignore.

It’s official: George W. Bush leaves office in exactly one year.

I’m not as concerned with how much time he has to further fuck up our country (plenty) as I’m concerned with how long it’s going to take us to clean up all the damage he’s done.

T-minus 366 days and counting…

An oldie but goodie:

Universe Ends As God Wakes Up Next To Suzanne Pleshette.

R.I.P., Suzanne Pleshette.

Ten years ago last night, several days after it appeared in the Drudge Report, the news of Bill Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky broke into the mainstream news media via ABC News and the Washington Post.

From the Washington Post print edition, January 21, 1998: Clinton Accused of Urging Aide to Lie.

Independent counsel Kenneth W. Starr has expanded his investigation of President Clinton to examine whether Clinton and his close friend Vernon Jordan encouraged a 24-year-old former White House intern to lie to lawyers for Paula Jones about whether the intern had an affair with the president, sources close to the investigation said yesterday.

Clinton, coincidentally, had several media interviews scheduled that day to discuss his upcoming State of the Union address, including this one with Jim Lehrer of PBS.

JIM LEHRER: Mr. President, welcome.

PRESIDENT CLINTON: Thank you Jim.

JIM LEHRER: The news of this day is that Kenneth Starr, independent counsel, is investigating allegations that you suborn perjury by encouraging a 24-year-old woman, former White House intern, to lie under oath in a civil deposition about her having had an affair with you. Mr. President, is that true?

For an engrossing narrative of the events surrounding the eruption of the scandal, read this excerpt from The Survivor: Bill Clinton in the White House, by John F. Harris.

Yesterday I finally saw “Fight Club” for the first time, that cultural touchstone, becoming the last American male over the age of 20 to do so. Took me long enough.

Unfortunately, about a year ago someone spoiled me on the plot twist. (Whoever it was, I hate you.) I tried to watch the movie pretending to myself that I didn’t know, but it didn’t totally work. Various scenes took on extra meaning even though I tried to pretend they didn’t.

I still enjoyed the movie — how can you not enjoy a David Fincher movie? And in a way I feel like I saw the movie for the first and the second times simultaneously.

So I guess I’m all caught up on pop culture now.

Note to self:

To avoid heart attack, do not look at 401(k) or Roth IRA balances over the next few months.

I have nothing to add to this.

In his dress shirt and tie, and with his unwavering smile, [Mitt Romney] walked over and posed for photographs with a group of black youngsters. Putting his arm around a teenage girl, he waved to the cameras and offered, “Who let the dogs out?” He added a tepid “woof woof.”

Somewhere, the Baha Men, the Bahamian group whose 2000 song the candidate was referencing, must have been shuddering.

Kevin Madden, one of Mr. Romney’s campaign boyz on the bus, said the candidate had been joking around and had responded to someone who asked, “Who let you out?”

Later, Mr. Romney admired a child’s gold necklace and said, “Oh, you’ve got some bling-bling here.”

I’m sorry, but this really freaks me out.

I’m not a New Jersey resident, but since I work in the state I have to fill out a non-resident tax form when I do my taxes. I’ve noticed that this year, the non-resident and resident forms refer to “spouse/CU partner” for the first time. (Civil unions went into effect in New Jersey last February.)

It’s nice to see these relationships “officialized” on tax forms.

Last night we had our first chorus rehearsal of the spring season. It looks to be a terrific concert, including works by Schoenberg, Brahms, Mozart, and others.

One piece we’re singing, “Last Letter Home,” blew us away. It was composed last year by Lee Hoiby; the text comes from a letter written by a U.S. soldier who died in Iraq. Private First Class Jesse Givens was killed on May 1, 2003, when his tank plunged into the Euphrates River after the bank on which he was parked gave way. The other crew members escaped, but Givens drowned.

He’d written a letter to his family to be opened in the event of his death: his wife Melissa, his stepson Dakota (nicknamed “Toad”), and his unborn son, nicknamed “Bean.”

We sang it for the first time last night. Half of us were wiping our eyes afterwards. My voice kept breaking as I tried to sing the text.

…I searched all my life for a dream and I found it in you. I would like to think that I made a positive difference in your lives. I will never be able to make up for the bad. I am so sorry. The happiest moments in my life all deal with my little family. I will always have with me the small moments we all shared. The moments when you quit taking life so serious and smiled. The sound of a beautiful boys laughter or the simple nudge of a baby unborn. You will never know how complete you have made me… You opened my eyes to a world I never knew existed…

Dakota you are more son then I could ever ask for. … You have a big beautiful heart. … I will always be there in our park when you dream so we can still play. I hope someday you will have a son like mine. … I love you toad I will always be there with you. I’ll be in the sun, shadows, dreams, and joys of your life.

Bean, I never got to see you but I know in my heart you are beautiful. …

I have never been so blessed as I was on the day I met Melissa Dawn Benfield. You are my angel, soulmate, wife, lover, and best friend. I am sorry. I did not want to have to write this letter. There is so much more I need to say, so much more I need to share. A lifetime’s worth. I married you for a million lifetimes. That’s how long I will be with you. … Please find it in your heart to forgive me for leaving you alone. … Do me a favor, after you tuck Toad and Bean in, give them hugs and kisses from me. Go outside and look at the stars and count them. Don’t forget to smile.

Here’s the entire letter. Links to the original, handwritten letter are at the bottom of the page.

His son was born a few weeks after he died.

Unsurprisingly, “Brokeback Mountain” and “A Knight’s Tale” are both among the 20 best-selling DVDs on Amazon.com today.

I had jury duty today. I have it again tomorrow.

This is my first time having jury duty. I don’t know how I’ve managed to avoid it in the past, but I guess everyone’s number comes up eventually.

I wasn’t picked for a jury today – I didn’t even get randomly picked to go through voir dire. But I got to watch a bunch of other people go through it. It was actually really interesting to listen to a group of randomly-assembled New Yorkers talk about their jobs, where they live, their family status, and whether they’d ever been the victim of a crime. (If I get chosen for voir dire tomorrow I guess I’ll mention this incident.)

It’s fun playing anthropology at jury duty. Especially in Manhattan, with all its diversity. Among the randomly-chosen people were a fashion designer, a magazine editor, some corporate types, a vegetable-stand owner, a custodian, and an actress/cocktail waitress.

Also, there were two Svetlanas.

Assuming I don’t actually get picked for a jury, jury duty isn’t so bad.

Two short items:

(1) I’ve deleted my Friendster account. I never use it anymore and I’ve been getting too much Friendster spam messages from fake women lately. So it’s gone.

(2) Don’t you wish you could do CTRL-F in real life to find your keys, your glasses, your cellphone?

Annoying sci-fi cliché # 3,258:

If aliens know how to speak fluent English, why can’t they ever use contractions?

Tom Shales: George W. Bush is a man “whose approval rating of himself seemingly has never dropped much below 100.”

Matt and I were watching TV last night, fast-forwarding through the commercials on the TiVo, when we whizzed past one that made us go “WTF?” Not only did it take place in Washington Square Park, right around the corner from where we used to live, but… animation. And more. Here’s the full 60-second version (we saw only a short version last night).

Apparently it’s the first of five musical animated ads the Truth campaign is going to run, and the music for all five is by David Yazbek.

The guy next to the unicorn is cute.

Tonight we’re going to see a special concert production of “Jerry Springer: The Opera” at Carnegie Hall.

How bad a gay am I, and how big a political junkie, that I almost wish I could stay home tonight and watch the Florida Republican primary returns instead? Returns for a party I’m not even going to vote for?

So the TiVo is set to record MSNBC starting at 7:58 p.m., a couple of minutes before the polls close. (Florida polls close at 7:00, but the Panhandle’s on Central Time and they don’t start announcing returns until the whole state is closed.) When I get home I’m going to resist the temptation to go online and I’ll turn on the TiVo instead.

This is just more evidence that politics is my version of sports. Since I don’t care all that much about actual sports.

OK, I guess I’m not a bad gay.

Yes, the presidential race is sexy and exciting. But meanwhile, as Charlie Savage of the Boston Globe reports today, President Bush has issued yet another signing statement saying that he can ignore a validly enacted law. A law that he himself just signed.

President Bush this week declared that he has the power to bypass four laws, including a prohibition against using federal funds to establish permanent US military bases in Iraq, that Congress passed as part of a new defense bill. …

Bush asserted that four sections of the bill unconstitutionally infringe on his powers, and so the executive branch is not bound to obey them. …

One section Bush targeted created a statute that forbids spending taxpayer money “to establish any military installation or base for the purpose of providing for the permanent stationing of United States Armed Forces in Iraq” or “to exercise United States control of the oil resources of Iraq.”

The Bush administration is negotiating a long-term agreement with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki. The agreement is to include the basing of US troops in Iraq after 2008, as well as security guarantees and other economic and political ties between the United States and Iraq.

The negotiations have drawn fire in part because the administration has said it does not intend to designate the compact as a “treaty,” and so will not submit it to Congress for approval. Critics are also concerned Bush might lock the United States into a deal that would make it difficult for the next president to withdraw US troops from Iraq.

Bush is still president for another year. While the presidential race is important, I hope people keep their eyes on him. He still has one more year to create lots of damage to our country and our constitution.