Or, you know, they could send out the text message in the middle of the night, and an hour later, when I’m near the waking end of a sleep/wake cycle, an insistent beep from the other room enters my consciousness, the beep that means you have an unread text message, and it wakes me up.

I realize they had been scooped, but come on. The middle of the night?

This guy better not be Obama’s VP nominee.

I voted for the Marriage Protection Amendment, because I believe marriage is a sacred, time-honored union between a man and a woman. Marriage is a foundation of stability for our families and our nation and should always remain so.

He’s apparently still in the mix, although who the hell really knows anything right now? Reporters like to write stories.

I think this Obama VP text-message-alert thing is a cool but hilarious idea. And yes, I signed up to receive it by texting “VP” to 62262 (keypad code for “OBAMA”).

I’d really like to be in a public place when the choice is announced. I’m trying to think of the weirdest place for a cacophony of cellphones to start going off. It depends on whether it happens today or tomorrow. Since Obama has a big rally in Springfield, Illinois, at noon tomorrow, it’ll probably be around then.

So cellphones start going off tomorrow morning in synagogue sanctuaries across the country. They interrupt weddings. They echo off the walls of shopping mall atriums. Whole Foods franchises resound with the sound of electronic beeps as we Democrats make our weekly arugula purchases.

Ooh! Ooh! I know the best place to be! The Park Slope Food Coop!

It’ll be a gas.