It’s Veterans’ Day, so, as a state employee, I had the day off. I brought work home with me. I have a brief due next Wednesday. I figured I’d have a greater chance of working on it if I actually had the materials here.

I did get as far as opening the Word document on my computer screen.

Other than that, I picked up a new prescription. My doctor is adding Klonopin, an anti-anxiety drug, to the Wellbutrin. He wants me to stay at a lower dose of Wellbutrin, since my urinary symptoms seem to have disappeared with the lower dose. (Thank goodness.)

I’m supposed to take the Klonopin as needed to reduce anxiety. Apparently it’s potentially habit-forming in larger doses, so I’m trying to avoid it if possible. I did take one earlier, and I felt slightly drunk and relaxed while eating lunch, as if I’d had half a glass of red wine.

The psychiatrist, however, suspects that Wellbutrin might not be the best drug for me. He might want to switch me to the SSRI family, something like Celexa or Effexor. The only downside is that these could have sexual side effects — delayed orgasm, decreased sensation, et cetera. I woke up in the middle of the night last night, freaked out that I might have to take something that could affect my sex life. The idea of something interfering with orgasms really skeeves me out.

On the other hand, not everyone experiences sexual side effects from these things, and tons of people take them, so if they give me a happier outlook on life, maybe the trade-off is worth it. And if not, I’ll get off whatever drug it is. The effects are by no means permanent.

Still… ugh.

Last night was quite heavenly. I broke down and bought the DVD of Into the Woods at the Virgin Megastore in Union Square, even though it was $5 more than on Amazon. (Sometimes instant gratification is worth it.) I came home, popped in the DVD, and watched it with some leftover pizza and a glass of red wine.

I’ve had several really nice nights lately: Thursday night, Saturday night, Sunday night and last night were all terrific. (Friday night I was in pain.) Occasionally I’m a bit sad when a really nice night ends, but why feel nostalgia for yesterday when I can anticipate tomorrow?