Thirty-Nine

Today’s my 39th birthday. This means it’s the last year of my life before I hit the big one. Another big one.

Whenever I feel old, I like to think about famous people who are within a year of my age. For instance, Rachel Maddow. Richard Engel. Jimmy Fallon. Seth Meyers, who is just one day younger than me. And three-fifths of the cast of my favorite currently-running sitcom: Neil Patrick Harris, Jason Radnor, and Alyson Hannigan. And Jim Parsons. And Seth MacFarlane. And Kristen Wiig. And Seth Green. And… on and on. (Those two links contain mostly actors, but that’s OK.)

I suppose this could all just make me realize how little I’ve accomplished in life. But for some reason, it doesn’t. Instead it makes me feel like I’m in the prime of my life, and that I can still accomplish things if I can figure out what they are. And more importantly, that I can still be happy.

Happiness is something you have to choose. You can’t wait for it to happen. You have to say: right now, in this moment, I choose to be happy. Because there’s always something to be happy about. Happiness doesn’t come naturally to me like it does to some other people; I have to work at it. But I’ve been getting better at it, I think.

Or maybe I don’t mean happiness. Maybe I mean contentment.

Either way, it’s always achievable.

So here’s to another happy birthday.

Kindle Paperwhite: Not for the Left-Handed

I finally ordered a Kindle Paperwhite last week. I’ve had a Kindle Keyboard for two years, and I love it, but I decided I’d try out the Paperwhite because of the higher color contrast.

The Paperwhite arrived yesterday. I really wanted to like it. But my experience with it so far is pretty disappointing.

I’m left-handed, and I find that turning the page on the Paperwhite — the thing you do more than anything else on the Kindle — is a pain in the ass.

WIth the old Kindle Keyboard, I could rest my thumb on the page-turning button while reading, and when I wanted to go to the next page I would just apply light pressure to the button, barely needing to move my thumb at all. It was practically automatic. But turning the page on the Paperwhite is much more difficult.

In order to go to the next page on the Paperwhite, you touch the screen. That would be fine if I were holding the Kindle with my right hand, because my right thumb could rest on the bezel while reading, and to turn the page I could just gently rock my thumb and touch the right edge of the screen where it meets the bezel.

It doesn’t work that way if you hold the Kindle with your left hand, because the left half-inch or so of the screen is reserved for going to the *previous* page:

Screen-Shot-2012-10-06-at-4.49.10-PM

So when I’m holding the Kindle with my left hand — which is the way I hold the Kindle — I need to lift my thumb from the bezel, move it at least 3/4 of an inch sideways, and then touch the screen. If I don’t move my thumb far enough to the right, I accidentally go back a page, so I need to overcompensate and move my thumb even further into the main tap zone than it should need to go. And then, when I move my thumb back to the bezel, I have to make sure I don’t accidentally touch the left edge of the screen, or else I wind up go back to the previous page. This may not sound like a big deal, but try doing it several dozen times, or even 100 or 200 times, in one reading session. It’s a total pain. It also destabilizes the Kindle in your hand, which is not good when you’re standing on a moving subway.

I did not realize how big of a problem this would be. And ridiculously, there is no way to change the tap zones in the Settings menu.

I miss the page-turning buttons. Not everything has to be about touchscreens.

So unfortunately I’m going to return the Paperwhite and stick with my old Kindle Keyboard until they release either a software update or a new Kindle with page-turning buttons. What a disappointment.

I Hate Guns

I’m sick and tired of this shit.

Last summer, Matt and I went to visit Matt’s family in Tennessee. Matt’s parents have a small motorboat, and one morning we went on a motorboat ride on the waterway near their house. Matt and I sat in the back. I sat right behind Matt’s dad, so I couldn’t avoid looking the NRA baseball cap he was wearing.

Matt’s dad goes hunting. Matt’s brothers are into guns too. The night after we were out on the lake, one of his brothers and his wife came to the house to stay overnight, because we were all driving up to Dollywood the next morning. His brother walked into the house with his pistol strapped around his ankle. It made me uncomfortable, so I left the room and went upstairs to go to bed.

I don’t like being around guns. A gun is a foreign object to me. I didn’t grow up around guns. I never saw a gun unless it was on a police officer’s belt. As far as I’m concerned, there is no reason for anyone to own one. The idea of owning a gun or having a gun seems absolutely ridiculous to me.

And I do not accept the argument that I’m a suburban northeastern Jew and therefore I’m in the minority and I need to accept that in other parts of the country there is a widely accepted gun culture. I do not accept that. You who live in gun cultures, you are the outliers. The rest of the civilized world is not like you. In other developed countries it’s not normal for people to have guns, or to talk about guns like you talk about carburetors. You people who do that, you are the outliers.

I don’t understand this country. I don’t understand why people need semi-automatic weapons to go hunting. I don’t understand why people are so scared of what other people will do to them that they need to carry guns in their cars or strapped to their ankles. I don’t understand why people need to have guns to feel empowered.

There are nuts out there who think they need machine guns to protect themselves from the government. But they’re a tiny minority. What’s everyone else’s excuse for not wanting to ban those types of weapons?

I am sick and tired of seeing Brian Williams report on location from some American town. I’m sick and tired of the footage of people running out of a building, inevitably underscored by the sound of a helicopter, because the footage is always shot from a helicopter. I am especially sick and tired of that helicopter sound.

I’m sick of people talking about “politicizing a tragedy.” First of all, do you know what a tragedy is? It is not “something sad.” A tragedy is a story of a person who is compelled toward his fate by a deep, irreversible character flaw. In that sense, perhaps these stories are tragic, because we seem compelled to relive them again and again. It’s the character flaw in our country.

As for “politicizing”: are you kidding me? First, how else are we supposed to address problems in our society other than through politics? “Politicizing” is a dirty word only if you think politics is bad. Second, the NRA has donated millions of dollars to politicians so they’ll vote the way the NRA wants. If anyone has “politicized” this issue, it’s the NRA.

I’m sick and tired of this shit.